Ugh. New Year, New You! How many times do you hear/think this the first few weeks of January? I say, New Year, Same You!
You know how it goes, you think: This year is going to be different! You are finally going to read more, watch less, workout everyday, eat organic, file your receipts, cook more at home, journal, volunteer, learn to meditate, spend more time with your kids, make more time for yourself, finish that woodworking project that has been sitting in your garage for 3 years, get organized, travel more, spend less, learn a new language, take a dance class, clean out your inbox, try a new hair do, and rule the world.
F*&% that. It’s too much pressure. We like to think the promise of a new year can be the beginning of a whole new you and it can be, but damn if we don’t raise the bar to impossible heights most times. There’s an art to goal setting and most of us set ourselves up for failure by creating an unattainable list of things we want to change. Cue the self-shaming because no matter how hard we try, we are still not as fierce as Beyonce.
Another year gone by, and I’m still not an early bird workout person; a goal I have set for myself every year for the past 10 years. Give it up, sister! It’s okay that I am most comfortable moving my body mid-morning as opposed to being the 5:30 a.m. spring-up-out-of-bed-excited-for-my-workout gal that I aspire to be. I feel like if I was this type of person, I would be in beast mode every day of my life. I admire those people, but that may never be me.
And just to make sure I fail again, I’m still thinking that somehow, maybe this year, I’ll start going to that workout class at 5:30 a.m. What is wrong with me?
Creating a big list of change is dangerous. Our intentions are there, but most of us don’t have the tools we need to truly facilitate the consistency needed to reach our goals that bring about enormous life changes. Creating new habits is hard because we are creatures of habit. Quite the paradox.
So this year, can we not? Let’s give ourselves permission to just be, and truly be okay with that. Let’s indulge and celebrate us instead.
In honor of this movement, let me share my realistic list of New Years Non-solutions:
- I will consciously increase my sodium intake because salty things just taste good.
- I will not create a budget because I spend what I want anyway.
- I vow to work out every day (mid-morning) for the first 2 weeks in January and then taper off to like, 3 days, just like I’ve maintained for the last 10 years.
- I won’t read War and Peace. The book is too damn heavy to hold up as I lie in bed. Have you ever dropped that piece of literature on your face? I have, and it hurts like a bitch. Every year I try to tackle this book because for some reason I think that if I read it, I will be a better person. After 4 false starts, I’m calling it off. It’s boring anyway.
- I will take the picture of a girl doing a headstand off of my vision board because I never do a damn thing to get myself anywhere near this goal, ever.
- And finally, I will take a serious look into tax evasion and stop cleaning up after my dog. Because who wants to hand over half their earnings and hold a bag of hot poop?
Just kidding, I will still clean up after my dog. But in all seriousness, this year my resolution shall be to take some of the pressure off and let go of the things I will never, ever do. This year I resolve to be okay with being me, just as I am. New Year, Same Me. And you be okay with being you, just as you are. New Year, Same You.
I am not saying that I won’t make improvements or that we should lower expectations of improving ourselves. I certainly will strive for better; it’s just the way that I am wired. I move ahead and I make my mistakes. I learn from them and gain ground because of it. The only way you don’t progress is by being complacent or and staying in your comfort zone.
If you are moving ahead in life then you are making mistakes, and if you are making mistakes, you are learning from them, and if you are learning, then you are improving, end of story and run-on sentences.
So cheers to relaxing into ourselves and taking some of the pressure off!
Miss Sarah B.
© Sarah Blackman 2019