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V-Day Don’t 💔

Let me help your man so he doesn’t pull a V-Day Don’t 💔 Some gentlemen need some extra help when it comes to gifting their sweethearts. I’ll err on the negative side and share what not to gift with to save you the pain of seeing the disappointment (or rage) in your lovely ladies’ eyes. Ankle Weights: Perhaps your lady has expressed the desire to get into better shape. If you value your life and happiness at all, comments such as these should only be met with, “Baby, you look great just the way you are!” Maybe she has mentioned that she would like to start wearing ankle weights around the house for a butt-firming boost. Now is not the time to gift...

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Shock of the Shart 😲

It's the summer of 2005 in Los Angeles. Paris Hilton is queen, candy-colored Juicy Couture velour track suits reign supreme, everyone is toting tiny Chihuahuas around as if they are handbags, and I experience the Shock of the Shart for the first time in my life. Juicy Couture has just come out with their strapless terry cloth dresses and I am the proud new owner of a white one. I am pretty excited about it. It is easy to get on and off, so it quickly becomes my 'post-shower getting ready" dress. Sometimes I wear it over jeans with heels and cute accessories and think I look, like, real damn good. I leave the house with a little bounce in my strut because...

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Luscious Lemon Pie 🍋

Lemon Pie

I'm sharing the the easiest pie in the world to make - my Luscious Lemon Pie! No baking, minimal mess, and hardly any time spent in the kitchen. People will think you are a pie wizard. You'll feel like a fraud when everyone is fawning over how amazing this pie is and you barely did a thing! This pie is like if a key lime pie and a lemon ice box pie had a baby. 🍋🥧 + 🍈🥧 = 🍰✨ Trust me, even if you think you don’t like citrusy desserts, you will like this. It's creamy and delicious with a mellow citrus finish. Luscious Lemon Pie Recipe: 1 Keebler Graham Cracker crust (I prefer the one with 2 extra servings) 14 oz sweet...

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Permission Slip 📝

Giving your inner child a permission slip

I just read something that touched my heart so deeply; I may never be the same again. And I received the most delightful Permission Slip. Last night as I relax in a bubbly tub, reading Thrive by Arianna Huffington, something on page 189 jumped out and slapped me across the face. As she talks about the importance of silence in our lives as a way for us to slow down and connect with our inner voices, she quotes the German poet/novelist Hermann Hesse. “Ask your soul!” pleads Hesse in My Belief: “Ask her who means freedom, whose name is love. Do not inquire of your intellect, do not search backwards through world history. Your soul will not blame you for having cared too little about politics,...

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Productive Procrastination⏳

One of my biggest flaws is procrastination. But I’m not a lazy procrastinator, I am a Productive Procrastinator. When I am writing on a deadline and get a little stuck, you better believe that I am going to rearrange the beverage center in our bar to look more appealing rather than keep pushing on getting my article done. Instead of doing laundry, I’m going to re-organize the silverware drawer that was already pretty organized to begin with. I am constantly doing unimportant things in place of necessary things. What IS that about? One of my biggest “Gotcha” moments came to me when I decided that a better use of my time was to organize my spare rhinestone collection in my jewelry box...

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Stain Fighting Sorcery 🔮

Stain Fighting Sorcery

As it turns out, I am a wizard. When I was able to fully remove sauce stains from a bowl of green curry that slipped from my hands onto a silk pillow and a Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams chair, it was nothing less that Stain Fighting Sorcery. It's a rainy Saturday and I make myself a delicious green curry vegetable bowl for lunch. My husband isn't home so I'm about to enjoy my curry with a side of Bravo as I've got a small window to relax without his unsolicited commentary about "watching that crap." I'm walking to the couch, and as I do, I hear his voice, "You're not really going to eat that on our couch are you?" It's in...

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Leanest Libations 🍹

In honor of Cinco De Mayo 🇮🇹 AND beach season, I present you with the Leanest Libations in all of the land! A skinny mini margarita, a fun and frothy alternative to the calorie-offensive pina colada, and a fabulous beach day drink that will keep you tipsy and hydrated at the same time! Drink up, my friends! #CincoDeDrinko 🍈 Super Lean Lime & Chili Margarita (90 calories ) This margarita is truly a rare gem. Both big in flavor and extra light in calories. You can't make a margarita with less calories than this! Not possible. The chili-lime rim gives it the kick it needs and the smoothness of a high quality tequila (such as my fav - Patron silver) makes it dangerously drinkable. #MargaritaMama 1 0z of...

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Patcher or Puller? ⚓️

Row Your Patched Boat

If life is the sea and we are a boat, then are you a Patcher or Puller? We have all experienced emotional traumas that color our emotional intellect. We are all a little damaged. Our boats have a hole in them. Some larger than others, but there all the same. Some of us patch our boat and some of us pull our boat. Patchers get in there and do the hard work it requires to patch their boats up so that water cannot sink them. The patch requires continuous maintenance as a small crack may turn into a bigger hole, but they get to it before it becomes the size of the original hole. And sometimes, they get to a place where the...

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The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Thought 💁🏼

The Dumbest Thing I Ever Thought

I was 23 and went to Office Max to buy myself a paper shredder. Apparently I had some very important documents that I needed to ensure did not end up in the wrong hands. Clandestine. As I was pacing the aisle of shredders, knowing I didn’t want a cheap one that would quit working after 3 shreds but understanding that this didn’t need to be an investment piece, a very friendly employee approached me and asked if he could be of assistance. I told him that I was looking for a middle-of-the-road paper shredder and he began knowledgeably walking me through the features of these mid-priced machines. When we start getting into the mid-high priced shredders he says, “Now this one takes credit cards.” Dubiously,...

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My Fear’s Named Chad 😈

My Fear’s Named Chad. He smokes cigarettes, shaves his chest, and still uses a tanning bed. Chad likes cats, cruise ship food, and itchy sweaters. We don’t have anything in common. He calls me “Bro.” A lot. Chad is a chud. He’s obnoxiously loud, aggressive, and annoying. Chad believes in complacency, comfort, and taking the easy way out. He loves to procrastinate and uses perfectionism as an avenue for such. He is stifling and overbearing. He tries to smother me, but he (almost) never wins. Unless it comes to skydiving, Chad and I are definitely on the same page when it comes to skydiving. He’s like, “Why would you do that Bro?” and I’m like, “I am SO with you, Dude.” Chad pokes me in the...

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